Be the Beautiful Ganges

Ram S. Sriram

This is a reprint of the article that appeared under Culture in Chandamama, U.S. and Canada Edition

The year is 1980. I was a graduate student in Texas. My friend Pankaj and I were walking back from our classes to our apartment and waiting to cross the road near the University. A pick up truck pulled right in front of us. The man sitting on the passenger side of the pickup truck rolled down the window and spat at us while the driver shouted at us, "Iranians, go home. We do not want you in this country." Around this period, terrorists in Iran had held over 50 Americans as hostages for over a year and the Americans were terribly angry at Iranians for humiliating them.

Although I was shocked by the behavior of the man in the pick up truck, I did not lose my temper and ttried to reason with the man and offered an explanation that we were not who he thought we were. "I am sorry" I said, "You are mistaken. We are not Iranians. We are from India." The passenger made a threatening gesture and remarked,"Iran, India. Who cares! You are all the same." My friend, Pankaj was so angered by this unprovoked attack that he grabbed a rock and tried to throw it through the windshield of the truck. I grabbed Pankaj and said, "No. Don't stoop to his level. Control yourself. You don't know what people like this are capable of." Although Pankaj was visibly shaking with anger, he dropped the stone at my request and we crossed the road and walked back to our apartments in silence. We soon forgot the incident and carried on with our daily lives.

This is not a story of racial prejudice, ignorance or mistaken identity but one of self-control. Throughout life, we all come across situations that upset us and that may provoke us to retaliate violently. In many of these situations, we are completely justified in getting upset. Say for instance, one of your classmates makes fun of your clothes, calls you shorty or fatty and bullies you every day. Your natural instinct is to get angry and hurt the person and take revenge for embarrassing you. "I hate John. I want to break his nose. I want him to fall off his bike and break his legs." These feelings are natural expressions of being hurt and angry. But to act on these feelings is to let your emotions control who you are.

Anger is not a physical act but something that manifests from feelings of being treated wrongly. When you repeat the thought, "I hate John" a few times, your feelings of hatred grow stronger and more sinister and dangerous. Once you let your mind escape from you like this, you cannot escape from the path of anger. And once you indulge in that anger by acting on it, you soon lose control of rationality. But everyday life is full of reasons to get angry. My car broke down, my neighbor stole my paper, and there is never any good news on T.V. We cannot possibly lead a good life if we chose to react to every impediment that life throws our way.

Living a happy life requires making a conscious decision not to react angrily to the taunting of a bully or a redneck or the neighbor. What makes it easier to control our anger in these situations is to question our anger before we act on it. I asked myself all those years ago "why get angry because of this redneck's ignorance. He doesn't even know the difference between an Indian and an Iranian. His anger obviously has nothing to do with who I am as a person so I shouldn't waste time qualifying his racism with a reaction."

Had Pankaj acted on his anger and thrown a rock through the truck window, he would surely have caused more harm than good. It is safe to assume that someone who slurs hatred at a couple of students for no apparent reason would likely react violently to having his windshield broken. And there is no doubt that neither party would have walked away from the scene unharmed. But by controlling his anger, Pankaj and I were able to walk away with our pride and all of our bones intact.

Your feelings are like the River Ganges. The Ganges starts on the Himalayan Mountains and as it flows down, it gains speed. When it is uncontrolled, the Ganges runs down with tremendous force and destroys everything in its path - houses, people, and animals. Where it is controlled and channeled, it flows smoothly through a riverbed. It is calm and beautiful and creates life within it that nourishes the people and animals that live along its banks. Feelings like anger, prejudice, and hatred are somewhat like the Ganges. When you let these feelings run wild like the Ganges River, you destroy everything - your enemies, your friends, and your family. It does not differentiate Iranians from Indians. When you find a way to control these emotions, you will be like the serene Ganges - calm, nurturing and inviting.

Let's look at the Hindu epics and scriptures - they are replete with stories that illustrate how anger can negatively affect your life. Let us reflect on two stories: one from the Mahabharatha and one from the Ramayana.

The two main families from the Mahabharatha are the Pandavas and the Kauravas. The Pandava brothers were: Yudishtra, Bheema, Arjuna, Nakula and Sahadeva. The Kaurava family consisted of 100 brothers and the eldest among them was Duryodhana. The Pandavas and the Kauravas were cousins. Bheema, one of the Pandava brothers was an enormously powerful person and as a youngster, he used to tease the other boys and bully them into fighting with him. He always won. Like many of the bullies in schools today, Bheema always ridiculed the losers and humiliated them. Duryodhana, the Kaurava cousin of Bheema, was often angered by Bheema's arrogance. Duryodhana hated Bheema so much that he vowed revenge against Bheema and wanted to humiliate Bheema's rich and powerful brothers. As the rest of the Mahabharatha story tells us, Duryodhana eventually conspired with Sakuni, a master crook, and defeated the Pandava brothers in a card game. The Pandavas lost all their property including the kingdom, during the card game and were banished to the forest. After several years, the Pandavas returned to the kingdom, fought the Kaurvas in a battle and regained their kingdom. During the battle, Duryodhana was killed by Bheema All the Kaurava brothers perished during the battle.

While Duryodhana was able to hurt his enemy, in the process of acting on his hatred for Bheema by inflicting revenge on the Pandava's, he not only destroys his enemies but also his own family. The lesson in this story is, don't be a bully like Bheema even when you are winning. Be magnanimous. Being a hateful person will only bring misfortune on you and your family. But don't be like Duryodhana either. If you carry a grudge, even against a bully, you may bring more misfortune on yourself.

The Ramayana is another great Hindu epic. The principle character of the Ramayana is Rama, the son of Dasaratha, the King of Ayodhya. When Rama was a young lad, he used to practice archery in the palace gardens with his brothers. Sometimes, the young and impetuous Rama, used to shoot little clay balls at Kooni, a maid to his stepmother, Kaikeyi. Kooni was a hunchback and Rama aimed the clay balls at the arched back of Kooni and laughed when the clay balls hit Kooni's back and she winced with pain. Kooni was angered by Rama's behavior and vowed to get revenge on him one day.

As years went by, Rama grew up and became a person of exemplary character and conduct. King Dasaratha eventually decided to handover the throne to Rama and crown Rama as the king of Ayodhya. Kooni had waited all these years for this day to take her revenge. Kooni was a confidant of Kaikeyi, the stepmother of Rama. Kooni asked Kaikeyi to fulfill promises that her husband Dasaratha gave her when they were married so that Kaikeyi's son Bharatha would become the king instead of Rama and Rama would be sent to the forest so that he can no longer rule Ayodhya. Dasaratha was compelled to obey these two promises. Accordingly, Bharatha was crowned as the king of Ayodhya and Rama was sent to the forest for the next fourteen years.

When Dasaratha informed Rama of his promises to Kaikeyi and asked Rama to execute them, Rama, the man of character and highest values, did so without hesitation. Rama gladly relinquished his rights to the kingdom and left to the forest. As the Ramayana further illustrates, Rama finally returned to the kingdom after fourteen years of exile and ruled with glory and greatness. Unlike most of us, Rama did not get angry or upset that his legitimate right to the kingdom was taken away. Instead, Rama patiently accepted the misery with a smile and did not allow jealousy, anger, or hatred to consume him. That is, Rama exhibited the highest of values and ideal conduct. The message of this story is, even the most revered Rama made mistakes when he was growing up. But, he also recognized his failings and developed values that made him a great person.

As the stories from the Mahabharatha and the Ramayana illustrate, people who let anger and hatred control them, not only destroyed their own lives, but also the lives of those around them. They were like the uncontrolled and furious Ganges. On the contrary, people who knew to channel their feelings brought glory to themselves and brought happiness and prosperity to everyone around them. They were like the serene Ganges.